How to have a birthday party, wake up in Atlantic City and actually enjoy yourself

Step 1: The setup: Have your birthday party at a theme restaurant and start at 7:30.


Step 2: Make your friends do this:


Step 3: Pay your enormous bill and realize as you walk to the next bar that your are not even slightly drunk. Get to next bar which is full of 16 year olds and start to feel old. Everyone wants to leave and one dumbass says "lets go to AC". (It only takes one dumbass).

Step 4: Take note of your birthday presents as they may be useful later.


Step 5: Drive to Jersey; do not hesitate due to inclement weather conditions.


Step 6: Get some rest. Use the inflatable sheep as a pillow (put a pair of depends on the sheep for extra cushiness):


Step 7: Arrive in Atlantic City, estimated time 2 hours 45 minutes.



Step 8: Start drinking and gambling:


Step 9: Win some money, the key is to make back the money you spent on dinner:


Step 10: Hunger makes you sad. Eat a crappy breakfast at 6:00am:


Step 10 1/2 At a place that has a chandelier like this:


Step 11: Stay Clean and Rested: Pay an exorbitant amount of money to stay at the Howard Johnsons.


Step 12: Wake up and gamble some more:


Step 13: Enjoy nature and your suroundings: Walk along the boardwalk:



Step 14: Stay dry: Buy some new socks (skip this step if there is no nor'easter):


Step 15: Explore the casino:


Step 16: Gamble some more:


Step 17: It's not a birthday party if you don't go to the strip club. Go at 6:00pm on a Sunday. Bonus: since there is no one there, make friends with the strippers and ask for pole-dancing lessons. (sorry no pictures here).

Step 18: Drive home: